3.15.2010

Turn off the TV and Improve Married Life

I Loved this article I read on a great site that I frequent http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/


“I think we watch too much TV” stated my wife.

“Er, uh, what?” As I hit pause on the Tivo. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Nothing” she replied.

This is a conversation we’ve had several times throughout the course of our 16 years together. We’ve had times of limiting our television watching, a period of going without cable in order to cut costs and save money, and we’ve had a couple of times where we went a week without turning on the TV.

This time, we went an entire month without the TV on once. No favorite shows, no sports, no cartoons (it took a couple of weeks for the kids to stop asking).

At first, it was tough. I realized that veg time with the TV was a way I would unwind and relax at the end of the day. I noticed my stress level was a bit higher. I was shorter with the kids.

But after a week or so, I began to like the idea more. We spent time playing as a family. The kids played puzzles and up’d their imaginative play (which I love watching). We would eat dinners and breakfasts outside on the deck. And after the kids went to bed, rather than my wife and I zoning out in front of the TV, we’d sit outside and talk, work on little projects around the house, read, or spend our time in other pursuits (wink, wink).

When the month was over, we kept the experiment going, only with a couple alterations. The kids now watch a couple of cartoons in the morning, and we catch a game at times (I married a woman who likes watching sports … yep, I’m a lucky man).

We still talk about doing away with the whole thing, and then we come back to the other side and enjoy TV in short bursts. But one thing is for sure – the times we have gone without (or dramatically less) TV, there has been an improvement in the quality of our marriage.
Here’s what we discovered:

1. Get more sleep. I’m a night owl. I would regularly be up until midnight, usually watching TV. Now I find myself in bed reading by 10 or so. I’ve picked up around 2 hours more sleep per night by simply turning off the TV.

2. Talk more. Without the mindlessness of TV in the way, we began taking more, and we already had a relationship where talking to each other is not really a problem. We sit in the living room and talk. Hang out with each other and read. The point is, we connect more.

3. Live life rather than watching others live theirs. This seems to be a growing issue in our world. Reality shows (if you can call them that) are everywhere. This has led to more and more people watching others live rather than getting up off the couch and living themselves. Plan an adventure. Work on things together. Start a business. We have good friends who 8 months ago did away with their TV completely. They are now planning on how they are going to fulfill one of their dreams of living overseas. They head out in a year, with a 5 and 2 year old.

4. Less consumerism, more contentment. Without the constant bombardment of ads and must haves, you really do become more content with what you have. You can then focus on what you need, which isn’t all that much, rather than what other people say you need or want.

5. A better outlook on life. Granted, the world we live in is rough at times, and times are hard currently, but when you disconnect from the mainstream news sources, you’ll probably discover that things are not as bad as they led you to believe. My wife and I have been on a news media fast for 2 years now – and we have no plans of going back.

Post written by Zen Family Habits contributor Corey Allan. Follow him on Twitter.